O Corporals! Lance Corporals your fearful week is done; The ship has weather'd every rack, the ale you sought is won; The port is near, the smoke and
FORT LEE, Va. – In a new trial program being tested at the Logistics Warrior Center of Excellence, staff officers will finally be able to eat some of the foods they
ABERDEEN PROVING GROUND, Md. — Brigadier General William E. King, commander of the 20th Chemical, Biological, Radiological, Nuclear and Something Beginning With E (CBRNE) Command, is retiring in July after a
CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — The battalion adjutant dropped shit on the desk of the executive officer late early this morning, sources confirmed. Though the XO is used to having a
TEMPE, Ariz. – A team from Arizona State University has secured top honors in the U.S. Army’s competitive Best Rager Competition, the military’s highest honor for raging ass
WASHINGTON — The Metropolitan Police Special Tactics Branch was activated Saturday night after a fatigued Secretary of Defense James Mattis took eight lives during a casual walk through the downtown area.
WASHINGTON — Department of Veterans Affairs Phone Outreach Assistance Specialist Janice Edlers has been on hold with Comcast since 10 a.m., sources report. “This is not just incredibly frustrating, it’
Eazy is my name and you best not be…. Straight outta condoms… Y'all are brothers from another mutha And make believe the bitches all love ya
WASHINGTON — The Department of Veterans Affairs plans to tackle the problem of long call wait times by automatically disconnecting calls that keep a veteran on hold for 30 minutes, sources
MIAMI — A month after a report regarding the Coast Guard seeing a decrease in Cuban migration, a U.S. Coast Guard crew and surrounded a group of American millennial migrants
OTTAWA — A Canadian sniper apologized today after he was confirmed to have scored the longest lethal shot on record, according to sources. The sniper, whose identity is being withheld for
KANDAHAR, Afghanistan — After more than a decade tromping through the deserts and mountains of Afghanistan, the Joint Force has been diagnosed with arthritis, according to a publicly-released medical examination. "
WASHINGTON — After weeks of testing and analysis, Lockheed engineers have been unable to determine the reason why some F-35 pilots have experienced hypoxia-like symptoms during flight, though some believe the
THE PENTAGON — U.S. service members can now be charged under Article 81 (Conspiracy) of the uniformed code of military justice for asking questions "for a friend," sources
TRACY, Calif. — A pair of military heroes are leading the effort to stop their neighbors from lighting fireworks, sources say. "You know, we went over there and did awesome
MODESTO, Calif. — Following up on his success in correcting the narrative of federal holidays such as Thanksgiving and Martin Luther King, Jr. Day to include recognition of America's
FORT AFGHANISTAN — The U.S. Army is considering a longer dwell time for soldiers stationed at its base in eastern Afghanistan, sources confirmed today. According to officials, the move would
NORFOLK, Va. — Naval Station Norfolk's long term parking is taking a number of steps to secure your full social security number and other personal information while you'
FORT BENNING, Ga. – Pvt. Matt Davis, an infantryman providing 360 security, reports that the majority of grass in grid square FT1242784962, firing sector 2a, is bending slightly to the left.
PENTAGON – A new Marine Corps task force has arisen in the wake of recent Tricare cuts that deny coverage of critical medical care to female service members. Task Force TITTI,
Fort Knox, KY — Army Human Resources Command (HRC) confirmed today that officers will now be rated on the punchability of their face in upcoming promotion boards. “We've been
Dick Scuttlebutt is Duffel Blog’s Roving Mattis Correspondent. He has degrees in Mattisology, Mattisonomy, and Chaos Theory from East Dickhole State University. Go Manticores! Duffel Blog recently sat down
MARINE CORPS BASE QUANTICO, Va. – During his recent reenlistment ceremony, 1st Sgt. Mike Greenwell made the shocking announcement that he walks on the grass on base, sources confirmed today. “Thank
OMAHA, Neb. — Army National Guard Staff Sgt. Jason Hitchcock plans to update his official Department of the Army photo as soon as he loses 10 pounds, members of the 134th
All the single soldiers (All the single soldiers) All the single soldiers (All the single soldiers) All the single soldiers (All the single soldiers) All the single soldiers Now put
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