WASHINGTON—Since 1775, the United States has had an Army, and for most of those 244 years it has been called the “United States Army.” But now the service will
FORT JACKSON, S.C.—Medics at the 34th Infantry Troop Medical Clinic may disagree about primary season, but they are united in one cause: their agenda for free Motrin for
COLUMBIA, Mo.—A report commissioned by Granny and Poppop has found that family members unanimously blame you for your younger cousin Theo’s decision to enlist in the Marine Corps.
In a major twist in the trial of a Navy SEAL accused of stabbing an ISIS prisoner to death, Chief Special Warfare Operator Eddie Gallagher has come forward with a
WASHINGTON—According to a study released this week by the Partnership for Marriage, lesbians are in tough competition with Lance Corporals for the nation’s shortest engagements. “We were surprised
When in the course of the division training schedule it becomes necessary to release the soldiery, sailory, and, er, Marinery on a 4-day weekend for this momentous July 4 holiday,
THE PENTAGON—Sources say the newest Sergeant Major of the Army plans to field a throwback uniform to inspire pride within the ranks and prepare the Army for the impending
FORT POLK, La.—Army Pvt.1st Class Sherman Williams shocked the local military community last night when he reportedly said he was nowhere near those awesome events, sources told Duffel
FORT BRAGG, N.C.—Pvt. Joe Jonathans recently returned from his nine-month deployment to Kuwait only to find his wife neck-deep in bed, covered in Jonathans’ Woobie. A soldier’s
LUKE AFB, Ariz.—Tech. Sgt. Ashley Ferris' bridesmaids are reeling after finding out what they would be wearing to her wedding this summer. In a sassy group message, Ferris
WASHINGTON—As the nation's capital prepares for President Donald J. Trump's Independence Day military parade, sightseers are being treated to a fleet of military vehicles in
FORT LEAVENWORTH, Kan.—The audiobook version of the Army's operations manual, which will drive how the force fights in future large-scale combat operations, received its seventh download on
LAS VEGAS—Drone pilots will now be able to strike targets anywhere in the world from the comfort of their home. Citing increased flexibility for remotely piloted aircraft operators, Defense
KANDAHAR—A U.S. Navy pilot turned off his targeting computer during a bombing run and killed four hundred civilians, according to a recent statement issued by public relations. Lt.
TWENTYNINE PALMS, Calif.— First Lt. Connor Boyd, a weapons platoon commander with Kilo Company, 3rd Battalion, 7th Marines, spent this past Sunday nervously staring at his phone, waiting for the
CAMP PENDLETON — A Marine colonel has left his mark on the Corps with an inspirational speech before he retired, telling the assembled Marines that they should always "do their
FORT MEADE, Md.—The Army's most elite cyber operations unit has requested a blanket exemption from conducting mandatory online training, according to several sources familiar with the matter.
CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — In a stunning rebuke of the Marine Corps' "every Marine a rifleman" credo, trailblazing Pvt. First Class John Standle has rejected the label
ASGARD—Valhalla has been on lockdown for the past millennium, as warrior souls have been searching for the missing hammer of Thor, according to Valkyries close to the situation. "
THE PACIFIC OCEAN—After years of warnings from Congress, the island of Guam has finally capsized, according to several Department of Defense officials familiar with the matter. Satellite imagery confirmed
50 years ago today, Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins, and I took part in one of the greatest adventures in the history of mankind. Together we landed on the moon, planted
MIST COUNTY, Minn.—After a long career, it is finally time for National Guard Brigadier General James "Lucky" Lawrence to put away his lightly used combat boots. On
SHARANA, Afghanistan—Mohammad Omar confirmed in a press conference on Wednesday that the Taliban will not visit the White House if it wins the War on Terror. Omar cited numerous
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