UKRAINE—In another telling development that its invasion of Ukraine is not going well, Russia has recently started calling up forces from the Strategic Has-Been Reserve. Most notably, famous has-been Steven Seagal was deployed to occupied territory in an attempt to shore up the tenuous situation there.

“It wasn’t a complete surprise,” said Lt. Gen Blake O’Conner, military liaison to the Central Intelligence Agency. “Russia has been burning through all their men, material, and, well, everything at an astonishing pace. But still, this is almost the bottom of the barrel.”

The first indication that Putin intended to authorize use of the Has-Been Reserve came when archaic weapons started appearing in Russian forces' hands only a couple months into the conflict.