KABUL — A platoon sergeant on his first deployment to a combat zone is sitting in his seat on a C-17 aircraft puking and praying to God like he's about to storm the goddamn beaches of Normandy or some shit, sources confirmed today.
"I looked over and saw him kiss the cross around his neck and start praying," said Lance Corporal Michael Nellis. "Then I was like, shit. We haven't gotten any ammo yet. I don't want to die."
Sgt. John Vagitis, 29, has been seen exhibiting nervous behavior throughout the short flight from Manas air base in Kyrgyzstan to Bagram Air Field.