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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Wednesday, 30 September 2026

Army

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

Pentagon says clogged fixture brings “continuity, stability and ability to swallow enormous amounts of shit”

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

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Vol. 15 · No. 117

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Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

30 September 2026

1422 Zulu

Next edition Friday

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· Page 2

Military spouses host Anti-Stereotyping meeting at off-base strip club

Filed · 1543

JUST OUTSIDE THE MAIN GATE – The ongoing proliferation of negative stereotyping aimed at military spouses shows the widening disconnect in the perception of the modern military family. This hurtful divide is often felt within the military spouse community itself. More often than not, spouses of service members are their own worst enemy.

That was the consensus among military wives at this year's annual Military Spouse Summit on Anti-Stereotyping, held at Lickety Splits, a local strip club just outside the main gate. Wives hoped that by identifying and addressing common misconceptions they could begin to heal the wounds caused by gossip and bigotry.

"These stereotypes totally suck," said Riki, an exotic dancer married to a corporal. She continued to rant while performing a challenging double allegra, backwards showgirl technique. "Some of these bitter skanks perpetuate this type of thing just to feel better about their own dull existence," she concluded, deftly transitioning into ceiling box splits.

Riki isn't alone in her assessment, Debra, a bartender, agrees. "I've been married to four different guys from two branches of the military," she said around a mouthful of hot pocket slathered in mayonnaise.

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