JOINT BASE LEWIS-MCCHORD, Wash. — What began as a simple drug screening at 5 a.m. has morphed into a battle of wills lasting into the evening, since Spc. Harold Nelson claims he really just doesn't need to pee, sources confirmed today.
"I hate my life," said Staff Sgt. Maria Taylor, a battalion S-3 NCO serving as the Headquarters and Headquarters Company's Unit Prevention Leader (UPL). Staff Sgt. Taylor is responsible for administering the urinalysis and won't be allowed to pick up her children from daycare until after she has collected all samples.
She added: "This little stoner's Bob Marley poster is the entire reason the first sergeant had us conduct this random drug test to begin with."
