Saruman the White selected to oversee implementation of Army-Palantir contract
ISENGARD, Middle-earth — Shortly after revealing that Palantir would be implementing the new Army intelligence system, the service announced a partnership today with stalwart ally and pillar of the intelligence community, Saruman the White.
Head of Palantir's defense business Doug Philppone praised the move.
"We were just thrilled for the opportunity to take the reins of the most massive intelligence gathering system outside of Barad-dûr and tapping Saruman to oversee the transition is just smart business," Philppone said. "Truly a win-win-win for all the peoples of Middle-earth."
Philippone, who is definitely not the first of many clones of a man named Doug Philipp, was initially surprised at Saruman's familiarity with proprietary systems, but he has since come to expect nothing less from the leader of the white council.
"It's true that Saruman has been recently branching out into other areas, such as munitions development and recruiting demi-human capital, but he has always been primari…
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