WASHINGTON — The Pentagon sent the Kurds an ambiguous message at 02:14 this morning, according to a source embedded in northern Syria. The text message, "U up?" is
SYRIA — After being denied care for serious mental health issues at his local ISIS VA hospital, ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi walked out to the parking lot and detonated an
IDLIB, Syria – The remaining Islamic State senior leaders are looking inward to address reports of toxic organizational culture following news that their leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, killed himself this weekend.
We’ve all heard the saying “Trust a Marine with your life, not your wife.” Those words ring truest on November 10, when Marines gather to celebrate their branch’s
ATLANTA, Ga. — Delta Airlines, the world’s second largest carrier, announced today that it would offer a promotion called “Thank You, Heroes” aimed at active duty personnel, military veterans, and
AL JANNAH (Heaven) — Earlier this week, former ISIS head Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi announced that he has obtained more virgins in the afterlife than fellow afterlifer Jeffery Epstein. The announcement came
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — The Trump administration announced this week Conan, the hero canine of the US raid that killed ISIS leader and austere religious scholar Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, would
WASHINGTON — In a shocking new report, the VA has released military suicide figures for active duty, reserves, and veterans while subtly mentioning that in no way did Jeffrey Epstein hang
KABUL – Blackwater, now known as Academi, will shock you and your and terrorists alike with their kick-in two doors, get one door kicked-in free “doorbuster deal” available now through the
HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — The numbers are in from opening weekend, and Midway has captured America’s hearts as equally as it has rekindled a history of deep-seated racism against the Japanese.
WASHINGTON — Coast Guard officials are preparing for the looming government shutdown, or “fundraising season” as they now call it, with a celebrity-hosted telethon, sources confirmed today. “Other Homeland Security agencies
HONOLULU — A new report from U.S. IndoPacific Command reveals harrowing details about China's growing fleet of vert ramps, which experts say can only be countered by heavy
FORT BENNING, Ga. — Well, an actual prosthetic leg has managed to become Airborne qualified. The ceremony for said leg, which the Airborne Cadre affectionately referenced by its given name, “Fucking
DURHAM, N.C. — Veteran-owned clothing company Ranger Up has released a first-of-its kind "Tactical Bathrobe" for customers who are unemployed veteran operators. According to the company's
DAMASCUS — On Saturday, Russian Air Force bombers killed a senior Islamic State facilitation leader named Hussain Junaid al-Amriki during an air raid on a hospital in Idlib Province, Syria. Russian
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump has pardoned Ft. Hood shooter Nidal Hassan, his lawyers report. “Pathetic lawyers and courts are unfairly judging our men in uniform,” Trump tweeted earlier today. “These
FORT BENNING, Ga. — In 1972, a crack admin unit was issued a letter of reprimand by a military court for a clerical error they didn’t commit. These men promptly
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — NORAD will be tracking Satan for the holidays after a typo on an internal operations order diverted the beloved Santa-tracking program to describing the location of Lucifer,
FORT MEADE, Md. – A promotion ceremony held at the Officer’s Club had better cake than leadership, attendees confirmed Tuesday. “(Newly Promoted) Lt. Col. Rogers pinned on his forth review,
WASHINGTON — Impeachment fever is sweeping the nation and the military’s most vocal barracks lawyers are providing confident, baseless, and often unsolicited commentary on the House impeachment hearings in both
Americans increasingly respect and revere our nation's veterans, and after two decades of non-stop wars many veterans have returned the favor and moved on from military service to
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump has intervened on behalf of three Fort Bragg soldiers who found themselves in trouble recently. Spc. Willis Kerstetter, Michael Mills, and Hector Tapia—each assigned to
MOSUL, Iraq — A spokesman for Kurds in Syria and northern Iraq voiced some of the most fiercely anti-U.S. sentiments to date by condemning President Trump’s probable pre-Thanksgiving Turkey
ANCHORAGE, Ak. — Cold weather endurance and survival training were recently canceled for a battalion of the 3d Cavalry Regiment due to a snowstorm that hit the Anchorage area. “According to
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