Rick: Okay, listen--[belch] --up. I'm going to keep this short, not because I think you won't listen - I know [belch] you won't. But I can't legally let you sub-moronic idiots go without reading some
WASHINGTON — The White House and Pentagon have finally confirmed the location of the aircraft carrier USS Carl Vinson, admitting that the carrier is actually sailing off the coast of Hawaii in 1941
FALLUJAH, Iraq — Shi’a death squads have resumed patrols on the streets of Fallujah, “restor[ing] a sense of normalcy” to the beleaguered Iraqi city, residents say. The Shi’a patro
WASHINGTON — Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), who spent much of the Vietnam War imprisoned in the infamous “Hanoi Hilton,” recently told supporters he always felt he “was in the ga
FORT POLK, La. — Spurred by the prospect of solid communal living, subsidized health care, and a guaranteed job, newly-graduated Pvt. Bronson Alcott extolled the virtues of the U.S. Army’s
FORT MCCOY, Wis. — Newly minted non-commissioned officers in the Army are now being told to “check their privilege” as part of a radical new form of training that would re-examine issue
FORT HOOD — A soldier soon to be leaving the Army after his return from Afghanistan is desperate to remain inside the warm safety and security of the Army’s vagina, sources confirmed Monday. S
KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN — Controversy engulfed both U.S. Cental Command (CENTCOM) and the Taliban on Monday, when both were revealed to be outsourcing combat operations to the Afghan National Army (
PESHAWAR, PAKISTAN — Officials from The Haqqani Network claim that the terror network is struggling to use up its explosives quota amid lingering buget cuts. Known for its sophisticated terrorist op
ARLINGTON, VA — In a historic move, the Department of the Army has recognized the right of service members to unionize. “Historically, collective bargaining has improved American working condition
