This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Lonely CIF clerk holding out for soul mate in perfect condition
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Darren Johnson, ten-time employee of the year at the Fort Bragg Central Issue Facility, has had trouble finding Mrs. Right despite his numerous awards.
“I don’t have high standards for women, I just uphold the common standard better than other people,” Johnson told reporters while rejecting a soldier’s unused sleep mat at the CIF return counter.
“I know there’s someone out there for me who’s beautiful, rich, and educated who has never had a boyfriend,” said Johnson, who is 38 years old with a lot of credit card debt and a liquor problem.
More Stories
Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something
Duffel Blog Staff
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Army adopts ‘Your body, my choice’ as new recruiting slogan
Duffel Blog Staff
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First-generation American pilot excited to give family free ride on deportation flight
Medal of Dishonor
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Hegseth tired of looking at all these limp dicks in Pentagon locker room
Whiskey Fueled Tirade
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25 years after 9/11, America still processing events normally
Duffel Blog Staff
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Opinion: How I learned to stop worrying and love my low testosterone
SECDEF_Nice
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