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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 116 · Monday, 28 September 2026

Air & Space

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

White House says redesign projects discipline, strength and “absolutely no historical parallels”

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

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Vol. 15 · No. 116

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Vol. 15 · No. 116 · Deployed worldwide

Monday

28 September 2026

2316 Zulu

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← Front page
Army · Page 4

'Army am lowering standards more for morer recruit', says Army

Polls indicate youth may not like mold-choked barracks, food insecurity.

Filed · 0200

Innovative, paradigm-breaking thinking.

THE PENTAGON – As the US military continues to struggle with lagging recruiting efforts, the Army has announced ambitious plans to fill their ranks using a program that “am lower standards more” to attract “more recruit[s].”

According to a press release from the Pentagon, the “Join Army, Bro!” campaign is aimed at those citizens who may have thought the Army was too “cerebral” before.

“Not everyone is a rocket scientist who can score a 21 on the ASVAB,” said MSgt. Cherry Thomas, from the US Army Recruitment Command. “We need warm bodies, and we need them now. Our message is if you can tell your ass from a hole in the ground two out of three times,” she said, holding up four fingers to demonstrate, “then your country needs you.”

The reasons for the service’s current recruitment difficulties are many. Low unemployment gives young people more stable pay that isn’t threatened by Congressional dysfunction, for example. And some polls indicate today’s youth may not like living in mold-choked barracks or living under the threat of food insecurity.

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