Satanic Chaplain Scores 666 on Combat Fitness Test

Presence of "Lamb having seven horns and seven eyes" unexplained

“Dark Lord, be with me….hyyyyyahhhhh!!!!”

FORT LIBERTY, NC — While most Chaplains primarily focus on spiritual fitness, Chaplain (Capt) Malcolm Abbadon is turning heads all the way around due to a different kind of fitness. Abbadon, who represents the Church of Satan, recently set a record-breaking score of 666 points on the recently revamped Army Combat…