Skip to content
DUFFEL BLOG

Free military brief. No CAC required.

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast
Subscribe form

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing
4,200+dispatches filed
20,000+readers briefed
Navy

Sick of cleaning toilets and mopping floors, janitor enlists for Navy adventure

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. – Saying he’s fed up with cleaning toilets for a living, local janitor Sean Ritchie announced Wednesday that he’s putting down his mop for good to join the Navy.

“I woke up the other day and just couldn’t do it anymore,” Ritchie said, visibly emboldened as a man taking charge of his life. “I’ve had it with the mindless tasks, with being looked at as the lowest of the low by piece-of-shit bosses, and with wearing my ass out for paychecks that amount to pennies. So I enlisted.”

Ritchie, 25, has been employed around the Jacksonville area in a variety of janitorial and maintenance jobs since graduating from Fernandina Beach High School in 2007. Though he initially enjoyed the freedom his low-commitment occupations allowed, Ritchie says the daily grind of “arbitrary, dehumanizing chores” ultimately left him hungry for the sort of adventure he’s sure he’ll find in his new life as a sailor.

More Stories

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!