National Guard mobilized to pick fruit
Governor hails “historic partnership” between citrus industry and underpaid weekend warriors
3 min read
Army
Hey, someone has to write the PowerPoint for the war.
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Fort Hood promises to keep murdering soldiers, despite name change
Rebrand includes new signage, commemorative coins, and same culture of unanswered questions and haunted latrines.
2 min read
Pentagon renames Fort Huachuca to Fort Hawk Tua
The Fort’s marketing office is working with the Defense Logistics Agency to develop a new hawk mascot in Oakleys.
5 min read
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Freshly-acquitted Diddy gives your weekend safety brief
4 min read
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8 tattoos you can get under new Hegseth policy
Good news: Tattoos of Pete Hegseth depicted “in the Greek Style” are now allowed.
5 min read
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US accidentally re-invades Iraq
Troops surprised to find old combat outposts still smell like Axe body spray
4 min read
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Army birthday parade sparks rediscovery of Von Steuben’s pimp-step parade doctrine
5 min read
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Army Secretary decries 'PowerPoint in parade form' for Trump's birthday
4 min read
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Fort Irwin to be renamed Fort Hitler
3 min read
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Basic bitch goes to Basic Training
Johnson single-handedly organized a supply run for pumpkin spice latte MREs (Meals, Ready-to-Eat).
4 min read
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US 'far behind in capabilities' being sold by retired general
The retired officer says that America is woefully under-resourced in a defense technology capability that is only sold by his company.
4 min read
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Army study: Soldiers have bigger dicks than sailors
The USS Ronald Reagan held the record for simultaneous penis inspections, with 473 sailors participating.
4 min read
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Zyn-Monster-condom pack sells out in minutes at PX
3 min read
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This Gorilla learned sign language, and immediately told everyone it went to West Point
"The very first thing he signed was, ‘Dookie, Sir, West Point, Sir!’”
4 min read
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Duffel Blog Presents: The 10 dumbest military phrases
"There’s no ‘I’ in team" but there are three 'U's in "shut the f--k up"
4 min read
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Hegseth congratulates historic last ever female to complete Best Ranger competition
"I’ve personally fired every female commander I can find, and now one has completed Best Ranger?”
5 min read
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Soldier who doesn't care about politics ready to deter Russian-backed Chinese Iranians
3 min read
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Pentagon removes 54th Massachusetts from Army records as 'DEI hires'
"Recruiting an entire regiment based only on skin color? What were we thinking?”
4 min read
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Pentagon renames Fort Campbell after the soup
"Remember that we are Army Strong, and we are Mmm Mmm Good.”
4 min read
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Citing DEI, Pentagon ends special treatment of black mold in barracks
3 min read
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