Hegseth thinking that DEI Coordinator job at National Guard Bureau looks pretty sweet right now
3 min read
paid
The Pentagon
Five sides, zero accountability
Page 2 of 4
Hegseth congratulates historic last ever female to complete Best Ranger competition
"I’ve personally fired every female commander I can find, and now one has completed Best Ranger?”
5 min read
paid
Leaked: Hegseth’s plan to 'de-gay' the military
3 min read
paid
Trade Wars Service Medal delayed by China tariffs
"The supplier increased the cost by 145%."
3 min read
paid
Pentagon removes 54th Massachusetts from Army records as 'DEI hires'
"Recruiting an entire regiment based only on skin color? What were we thinking?”
4 min read
paid
DoD establishes strategic porn reserve after Canada threatens to disable PornHub
Now our warfighters won’t lose access to the lube that keeps the Defense Department grinding.
4 min read
paid
Pentagon renames Fort Campbell after the soup
"Remember that we are Army Strong, and we are Mmm Mmm Good.”
3 min read
members
Citing DEI, Pentagon ends special treatment of black mold in barracks
Black mold is now able to serve openly in the barracks with no special treatment and will be judged fairly against other barracks residents.
3 min read
members
Hegseth punishes himself with extra set of 47 pushups for leaking war plans
"Accountability has been my watchword from day one, and my little boo-boo is no exception,” he said.
3 min read
paid
👊🇺🇸🔥
1 min read
paid
The Trump Administration also accidentally texted us its war plans
4 min read
paid
Man known for poor judgment displays poor judgment
3 min read
paid
Jeff and Tina: Hey, uh, what in the fuck?
4 min read
paid
Hegseth says he meant to send dick pic, not war plans
3 min read
paid
TRANSCOM renamed PENISORVAGINACOM to comply with Presidential Directives
"It's super awkward to put on my LinkedIn profile," said Gen. Randall Reed, the commander.
3 min read
paid
Pentagon offers Black recruits exciting opportunities as cooks, truck drivers
3 min read
paid
Hegseth orders military to paint 'Z' on all vehicles
3 min read
paid
Pentagon establishes Task Force of Task Forces to address need for Task Forces
2 min read
paid
Hegseth’s top tips on using the Warrior Ethos to abandon allies and warfighters
Here are Hegseth’s best “easy outs” for serving allies and partners a big cold dish of reality.
3 min read
paid
Leidos wins $10 billion contract to write 5 bullets on what fed employees did last week
3 min read
paid