FORT CARSON, Colo. — A soldier who called a number he found on a latrine wall in order to have a “good time” did not, in fact, have a good time, sources confirmed Friday.

Sgt. Anders Borden, a health care specialist with Headquarters and Support Company in the newly-formed Division Artillery, was in the field on an exercise last week when he happened to visit the latrines outside the dining facility after a rousing meal of corned beef hash with sausage links.

“So that stuff went through me pretty fast, I guess, especially since I put so much Texas Pete on it,” said Borden. “And next thing you know, I’m defiling the hell out of the third latrine from the left. And what do you think I saw in there?”