This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Army to replace 85% of personnel with Velociraptors by 2025
WASHINGTON — The Army says it will replace 85 percent of its personnel with velociraptors by the year 2025, according to a policy memo released this week.
According to the document, the Army will start phasing out human soldiers and will begin filling the ranks with raptors and other ferocious dinosaurs from the Cretaceous Period in fiscal year 2018.
Chief of Staff of the Army Gen. Mark Milley says transitioning to an almost fully theropodal force is the only way to ensure the Army remains the best warfighting outfit in the world.
More Stories
Staff command works hard to accomplish nothing
Red Friday
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Pentagon unveils ‘Send Someone Else’ campaign for Iran war supporters
Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh
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Trump strikes deal to buy precision missiles from North Korea
Duffel Blog Staff
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Air Force IG uncovers SNACKOs taking kickbacks from Big Insulin
R.J. Williams
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Pentagon facing dangerous shortage of fucks given
Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh
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Opinion: Listen up, assholes. Turn in your excess cruise missiles or everybody stays in formation
Bull Winkle
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Duffel Labs
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Pentagon Buzzword Generator
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Pocket NCO
Leadership advice with a knife hand.
Navy SEAL Book Generator
One click. Instant airport bestseller.
DD-214 Fortune Teller
Your civilian future, declassified.
Military Speech Builder
Remarks for ceremonies and mandatory fun.
Veteran Benefits Finder
Find benefits you might have missed.
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