WASHINGTON — Secretary of Defense Mark Esper confirmed that the Pentagon stands to lose billions of man-hours in pointless bullshit as military facilities worldwide continue telework and lockdown due to COVID-19, or Coronavirus.
Gen. Mark Milley, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, echoed Esper, adding, “Our Armed Forces are about to miss out on billions of man-hours’ worth of mandatory fun, dick drawings, and not producing the F-35, all of which will have a direct effect on readiness.”
Interviews with more than 300 officials at all levels of the Defense Department — from the highest generals to the lowliest privates — confirmed the astonishing amount of useless grabass being lost as the Defense Department cancels thousands of pointless events due to quarantine policies.