FORT CARSON, Colo. — The wife of a top U.S. General will be awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom Friday after posing as a centerfold in Playboy Magazine to raise
YOUR ROOM — Your buddy, Private First Class William Jenkins, is frantically pounding on your door, yelling something about a piss test first thing this morning. "I heard from Spc.
TEL AVIV, Israel — The nation of Israel broke a nearly 50-year silence yesterday when it revealed the sneaky diplomatic secret that it has used to increase mass and get huge
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Troops from the Army, Navy, Marine Corps, and Air Force told Congress on Wednesday that general officers were willing to sacrifice portions of their caviar rations, personal
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — An intelligence analyst who lost his leg in Afghanistan excitedly told reporters on Friday that having an artificial leg was just as cool as he always
FORT LEE, Va. — A land navigation course became considerably irate and began berating and leading students astray after multiple soldiers attending the Logistics Basic Officer Leadership Course at Fort Lee
FORT BELVOIR, VA — In an event that has left defense officials speechless, the Pentagon's top safety organization recently suffered the embarrassment of having its headquarters building catch fire
NORFOLK, Va. — The officers and crew of the USS George H.W. Bush were shocked when the aircraft carrier was appointed a Command Career Counselor who wanted to help sailors
PARIS, France — The world diplomatic community was stunned today when U.S. President Barack Obama accepted Russian President Vladimir Putin’s challenge to a drinking contest. The stakes: control of
KANDAHAR, Afghanistan — No Taliban militants died in the month of March, marking the first such event since the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan in the 1980s, insurgent officials said. It is
THE PENTAGON — The U.S. Army will phase out its Chaplain Corps over the next three years, according to a leaked memo from the office of the Undersecretary of the
FORT SILL, Okla. — An Army platoon leader was shocked to learn that his entire platoon had converted to Christianity en masse this week, despite his condescending and lengthy talks about
WINNETKA, Ill. – New Trier High School student Perry Winkles can’t wait until this fall to show all of his classmates what he’s really made of after he comes
FORT HUACHUCA, Ariz. — Confirming what soldiers and Marines the world over have long privately suspected, a Pentagon study released today has confirmed that women everywhere get extremely horny for guys
FORT DRUM, N.Y. — A platoon leader with 2nd Platoon Charlie Co., 2-22 Infantry Regiment was recently hospitalized for more than five days without a single person in his unit
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Lt. Col. Stanwick Hardcastle is not just the most popular psychiatrist at Womack Army Hospital because of his strong jaw, jet-black hair and piercing light blue
THE PENTAGON — Telling reporters on Monday that "we owe it to our people," Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel mentioned a number of items the Pentagon is considering banning to
Navy SEALs are among the best of the best of today's military, but many move on to bigger and better things beyond having ripped abs and shooting things.
FORT CAMPBELL, Ky. — Headlining a jobs fair and career seminar Friday at Fort Campbell, First Lady Michelle Obama spoke highly of the skills and career prospects of soldiers who will
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Specialist Ted Ortega, a grenadier in your platoon's third squad, is already tired of answering questions about Cinco de Mayo, sources confirmed moments ago.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The head of the Department of Veterans Affairs said Wednesday that he's been trying to get "this damn resignation business" straightened out with
The following is a guest column written by Col. Barbara Mucker. The Army has experienced a massive surge in sexual assaults recently, with an almost 300 percent increase in just
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Pentagon Comptroller Robert Hale warned on Tuesday that the second round of sequestration would mean that the Pentagon needs to get lean, and he's found
ANNAPOLIS, Md. — The U.S. Naval Academy held its graduation ceremony Friday morning, commissioning the newest class of weirdos into the ranks of the Navy and Marine Corps. “I am
YOUR HOME — Fuzzyhugs, the adorable stuffed bear you sent your wife for Valentine’s Day while deployed in Afghanistan, was happy to report that she is really enjoying getting fucked
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