THE PENTAGON — The women of the Army presented a petition to the Joint Chiefs of Staff on Wednesday, calling for a return to the 1990's-era greyish-white physical fitness
FORT CARSON, Colo. — A soldier who called a number he found on a latrine wall in order to have a “good time” did not, in fact, have a good time,
NAS INNSMOUTH, Mass. — The Navy commissioned the military's first death cultist chaplain in an Eldritch ceremony September 28, according to sources in the Secretary of the Navy'
SAN DIEGO, Calif. — Saying he's ready to roll up his sleeves and get to work — just as soon as he's done at medical — local Petty Officer
NATICK, Mass. — Fall is arriving early as the Pentagon's Combat Feeding Directorate announced the nation's service members will be able to enjoy new seasonal versions of
THE PENTAGON — U.S. Army leaders insist their force is still “the greatest fighting force in human history” even after a woeful record exacerbated by two debacles in Iraq and
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The U.S. Navy celebrated its 239th birthday locked inside its bedroom, gorging itself on a pint of Ben & Jerry’s “Chubby Hubby,” sources confirmed Monday.
MURFREESBORO, Tenn. — Some National Guard soldiers thought they had September off but instead faced mandatory fun days, sources confirmed. The National Guard had announced at the beginning of September that,
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Just one week after the Secret Service failed to stop a man from jumping the fence and entering the White House, lawmakers are moving forward with a
DAMASCUS, Syria — A local Syrian man is poring over English textbooks day after day to perfect his pronunciation of the phrase "no ISIS here" in preparation for his
The following is a point/counterpoint debate between your assistant operations officer and your salty old operations chief about physical training methods and supplementation. Assistant Operations Officer (S-3A): "I
PYONGYANG, North Korea — North Korean leader Kim Jong-un has been deposed in a violent overthrow led by Dennis Rodman, the former NBA basketball star who had been serving as Mayor
The following is the top review on Amazon.com for the book "Worthy Fights: A Memoir of Leadership in War and Peace," by former CIA Director and Defense
OCEANSIDE, Calif. — A girlfriend to a U.S. Marine private first class stationed at Camp Pendleton is planning the storybook divorce she always dreamed of, sources confirmed Tuesday. Saying that
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Just hours after Marine Gen. Joseph 'Fighting Joe' Dunford was appointed as Commandant of the Marine Corps, the general uploaded a video to YouTube of
MONROVIA, Liberia — About 100 Marines with Marine Air-Ground Task Force Crisis Response Africa have arrived in Monrovia to join the fight against the Ebola virus ahead of Army troops who
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A new controversy has rocked the Marine Corps from the shores of Tripoli to the halls outside the Pentagon office of Marine Commandant Gen. James Amos. Marines
The following is an opinion piece written by Jason Sievers, a veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan now living in his parent’s basement. I just want to thank you, America.
IDLIB, Syria — Members of the Islamic State have confirmed that recent recruit George Walker Bush al-Dulaymi is absolutely sick and tired of being teased and taunted about his name, which
PHILADELPHIA, Pa. — Admitting that he is inconsolably irritated and just doesn’t understand why, numerous sources confirmed that local Applebee’s waiter Samuel Higgins has not yet once been thanked
MOSUL, Iraq — Life as an admin officer with the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIS or ISIL) is hectic enough, but for Khalil Nassar, this October has been
GULFPORT, Miss. – For sailors looking to maintain a clean-cut, professional image, there’s no better spot in the state of Mississippi than the barber shop at the Naval Construction Battalion
THE PENTAGON — An administrative review of military records has found that despite serving as the top civilian leader of the Pentagon for almost two years, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel is
FORT LEWIS, Wash. — Multiple sources in Bravo Co., 4-9th Infantry Regiment claim that their company commander, Capt. Mark Jackson, was "definitely shitfaced" during his safety brief on Friday.
In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful, have you considered a break from the mundane drudgery of your easy life? Have you looked to the sky
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