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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Wednesday, 30 September 2026

Army

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

Pentagon says clogged fixture brings “continuity, stability and ability to swallow enormous amounts of shit”

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

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Vol. 15 · No. 117

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Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

30 September 2026

1855 Zulu

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← Front page
Veterans · Page 2

Applebee's to offer free meals only to veterans who won in Afghanistan

Freedom isn't free and neither is your meal.

Filed · 0500

GLENDALE, Calif. — In a move certain to anger veteran groups nationwide, Applebee’s released a statement this morning doubling down on its commitment to only offer free meals to veterans who won in Afghanistan this year.

Up until this point, all soldiers and veterans were offered free, 6,000+ calorie meals at any Applebee’s location each Veteran’s Day. That stops now as the revamped policy effectively ends the wildly popular 20-year old program started in the wake of 9/11, despite technically leaving the door open for Taliban or Pakistani Army veterans to take advantage.

“Our free meals for U.S. servicemen and women cannot in good conscience continue while we abandon our commitment to achieve stability in the Middle East,” the statement said. “A Bourbon Street Steak is meant to stand for something, not just at home but worldwide.”

These sentiments were further reinforced by Applebee’s founder Tommy Applebee.

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