Army holds safety stand-down to address dangers of drinking antifreeze

Officials are scrambling after soldiers at Fort Bliss rode "the blue lightning."

By Jack S. McQuack

WASHINGTON — The Pentagon has mandated an Army-wide safety stand-down to address the dangers of casual antifreeze consumption, sources confirmed today.

“We haven’t seen a crisis of this magnitude since our last global stand-down back in ‘08 to train soldiers on the dangers of sticking their heads in fans to make their voices sound funny…