College student serving in National Guard enjoys worst of both worlds
Twice the fun
NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — Evan Miller graduated high school with dual plans for his future: Enroll at Rutgers and enlist in the National Guard. His intent was to enjoy his college experience and make some extra cash on the side while maximizing the benefits of both being a student and serving in the military. Now, after one semester of school and six months in the Guard, he is confident that he is getting the absolute worst of both worlds.
“Imagine being in college without being able to do drugs and being in the military without anybody respecting you. At the same time,” Miller said.
The two hierarchies sometimes mirror one another, the Army private/college freshman explained.
“I’m rushing a fraternity right now, and getting hazed by the upperclassmen feels a lot like getting hazed by my seniors. And half my classes are taught by clueless first-year grad students. They’re basically lieutenants, except they’re less likely to get me and all of my friends killed.”
Sometimes those worlds collide, in unfortunate ways.
“My girlfriend left me for some football player named Jody that she met at a bar while I was at drill one weekend,” Miller lamented. “I’d only been gone for 48 hours. I wasn’t even out of state! It’s like that dude was just somehow waiting for me to be away.”
All of this flew in the face of Miller’s recruiter’s promises that he would be “slaying terrorists one weekend a month and slaying college pussy the rest of the time.” In reality, Miller spends one weekend a month doing annual training and the rest of his time catching up on schoolwork he missed.
Derrick Jones, a student-veteran who matriculated at Rutgers after spending four years in the Marine Corps, sought to reassure Miller that his military experience, at least, was everything he could realistically hope for.
“Look man, your recruiter lied to you and you hate your life. And at the end of the day, that’s what service is all about.”
29ReasonsWhy used to be a grunt. His mom is very proud of him.