Trump pardons Nidal Hassan

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump has pardoned Ft. Hood shooter Nidal Hassan, his lawyers report.

“Pathetic lawyers and courts are unfairly judging our men in uniform,” Trump tweeted earlier today. “These people are so far removed from the battlefield they act like Nidal Hasan is a threat to people safe at their desks. SAD!”

Hasan was convicted of 13 counts of premeditated murder and 32 counts of attempted murder. He was sentenced to death for carrying out a mass shooting on Ft Hood in 2009.

“Hasan is a true soldier who fought for his beliefs,” Trump said to supporters. “He pressed the attack in the face of overwhelming odds. Did he get sentenced to die just for doing his job? I have a feeling he's going to be all right. He has been through so much. Glad I could help!”

Critics say the President is undermining the military justice system by pardoning a convicted war criminal. “This sets a dangerous precedent that there are no consequences to mass murder,” Judge Harmon Willis said. “Tons of soldiers are going to start shooting up bases now that they can get away with it.” The weird kid in your unit who wears a black trenchcoat with chains was unavailable for comment.

“For more than 200 years, presidents have used their authority to offer second chances to deserving individuals, including those in uniform who have served our country,” White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham said to reporters.

Congressman Duncan Hunter applauded Grisham's statement. “I fully support giving Mr. Hasan a second chance. It doesn't matter that Hasan has not expressed remorse for his actions. Unrepentant war criminals can end up in all sorts of high ranking places.”

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