WASHINGTON, D.C. — Washington-area police have issued an Amber Alert and are seeking the public's help in locating a missing 238-year old foreign policy for the United States.
KILLEEN, TX – A strange man has been stalking a local high school and luring children into conversations, Duffel Blog has learned. Reports vary, but the man is said to be
CAMP LEATHERNECK, AFGHANISTAN - Marines honor the history of the Corps in many different ways: running 238 miles, doing 238 pull-ups, or 238 push-ups, but one Marine at Camp Leatherneck
BAGRAM, AFGHANISTAN — A top secret weapons development program has been scrapped after countless allegations of misconduct and numerous injuries were sustained by soldiers and Marines in Afghanistan, Duffel Blog has
Enough is enough, and despite numerous "no comments," obfuscations, and outright lies, Duffel Blog editorial board remains resolute in its duty to the American people to expose Secretary
USS BOXER – A Meal, Ready-to-Eat (MRE) aboard the amphibious assault ship USS Boxer says it would be nice to have some foreplay prior to getting torn from its packaging and
LANGLEY, Va. – Startled employees of the Central Intelligence Agency discovered this morning that Lee Harvey Oswald had been quietly added to the memorial wall at CIA Headquarters. Oswald is widely
Now listen up, you bunch of shit-flinging monkeys. I am tired of hearing caterwauling about how slowly I back out of my space at the Post Exchange. I’m not
A US Navy sailor just out for a morning stroll. WASHINGTON, DC — Following a Pentagon study into homosexual acts committed by sexually-deprived soldiers on deployment, the Navy is quietly rescinding
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN – In a move sure to go unnoticed by basically everyone, U.S. Army Gen. John Indifference took the reins of NATO’s International Security Assistance Force from Marine
MALIBU, CA — Saying that he's so glad to be home after suffering extreme hardships while on the backlot of his latest combat tour, actor Tom Cruise has returned
WASHINGTON DC – The terrorist organization Al Qaeda may wish death to America, but that hasn't stopped it from filing a class-action lawsuit over what it calls the government&
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — After a month long trial, 1st Lt. Summer Lovejoy has been found not guilty of numerous charges stemming from an illicit love affair with an 18-year-old
SEATTLE, WA – Local veteran Jonathan Henry has reported that the traumatic psychological scars he has carried since his numerous wartime deployments were miraculously healed today, thanks to Denny's
FT. BRAGG, N.C. – A non-commissioned officer serving in the U.S. Army’s ‘elite’ 82nd Airborne Division who has been described as alternatively as ‘playfully racist’, ‘zanily xenophobic’ or
KANSAS CITY, MO — The president of Applebee's International, Inc. announced Tuesday that the family restaurant chain would be declaring Chapter 11 bankruptcy next week, after offering military service
CAMP GEIGER, NC — Just days after learning that four female Marines would be the first ever to complete Marine infantry training, sources confirmed they are picking up cigarette butts in
OP OMAR – Company-level staff at Kilo Company confirmed today that a Grunt-Turned-POG had gone off on another rant about how much he hates POGs. According to eyewitnesses, Lance Corporal Bruno
USS NEW ORLEANS (LPD-18) – Sources confirmed today that Petty Officer Third Class Rob Shakely, thought to be a Navy SEAL, is actually just an ordinary Gunner’s Mate. Shakely, a
The following is a point/counterpoint opinion article written by each side of the range paddle. The White Side of a Two-Toned Range Paddle — The Range is Clear The range
TEL AVIV — A horrific chemical weapons attack in the Sinai that allowed an Army chemical officer to demonstrate his superior training and competency has left hundreds dead and many more
A shocking, top secret document outlining the U.S. Army's planning process for leaders putting together Christmas parties has been leaked to the media. Duffel Blog has obtained
Having trouble concealing your body this fall? The Base Exchange has you covered! With our wide assortment of khaki slacks and impressive turtleneck sweaters, you will very specifically not be
SAN ANTONIO, TX – “Fighting in modern warfare has far more in common with video games than any previous conflict,” Senior Airman Ethan Miller told some guy that he was talking
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