FOB GERONIMO, AFGHANISTAN – As the light of the full moon shone over the zen garden in back of the company combat operations center, Captain Jaisun Tyson presided over the seppuku, or ritual suicide, of his dishonorable retainer, Corporal Michael Melendez.

Prior to the event, Corporal Melendez had spent several hours in the garden, meditating over his failure to properly ensure that all his junior Marines had completed their Leading Marines MCI and his commanding officer's subsequent order to "go kill yourself".

Battalion Sergeant Major John Burke, known throughout the Marine Air Ground Task Force for his skills as a "second", stood behind Corporal Melendez holding an M1859 non-commissioned officers sword issued to him specifically for the occasion.

Removing his desert digital blouse, revealing a white PT shirt underneath which symbolized the purity of his intentions, Corporal Melendez carefully and meticulously folded the blouse so that only the Eagle, Globe, and Anchor were visible on top.