BAGRAM AIRFIELD — Capt. Martin Lewis, an MQ-1 Predator drone pilot in the U.S. Air Force, has raised enough money through the Kickstarter website to bring his military working drone back after deployment.

“Sparky is a hero and deserves to come home, too,” said Lewis in an interview with Duffel Blog. “If I don’t adopt him, they’ll have to put him down once I’m gone. He’s my best friend.”

Members of Lewis’s unit confirmed that Lewis does not, in fact, have any friends.

The cost of adopting the drone includes $1,000 for legal fees, $10,000 for transport, and $4,500,000 for the aircraft itself. Despite his friendlessness, Lewis has tugged on the heartstrings of strangers who have donated over $5,000,000.

Dr. Justin Holland, a psychiatrist who works with veterans, is a major donor to the fundraiser. Holland believes that all participants in battle should be welcomed back after service.