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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Sunday, 27 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Sunday

27 September 2026

2209 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
Coast Guard · Page 7

Coast Guard using seized marijuana at morale events

Filed · 1537

MIAMI BEACH, Fla. – New regulations allowing Coast Guard vessels and commands to retain and use seized property mean the nearly $20 million in marijuana seized at sea on Friday morning will not put in an incinerator. Instead, it was burned at Friday night's morale event.

“This is, like, the best thing since we were able to get tattoos past our elbows,” said Petty Officer Rick Howell, after taking an “epic rip” from a Coast Guard-themed bong.

Howell's cutter, USCGC Robert Yered (WPC-1104), seized 9,662 pounds of marijuana from a Panamanian flagged vessel southeast on July 22. The “really righteous shit” was disguised in rice bags and seized in the Caribbean, Howell said.

“That’s $20 million worth of weed that won’t reach the streets,” Coast Guard spokesman Timothy Cronin said. “So who better to use it than our heroes?”

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