FT. MEADE, Md. — The National Security Agency sent more than 2.5 billion emails informing the entire internet that it was updating its privacy policy, sources confirmed today.

A veritable mountain of emails has been collecting in inboxes over the last week as companies from around the world rush to implement the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), with many struggling to achieve compliance with the new, and quite rigid, policy over how data can be shared between users and companies. The NSA, however, handled the challenge with the practiced ease of an organization with little to no accountability.

"We're updating the way we handle your personal data," the NSA email said. "We know privacy is an important illusion for society, and we want you to know that we take great pride in maintaining that fantasy."

The use of data has become a hot-button issue for data privacy advocates; companies all over the world took steps to increase their transparency regarding how exactly their customers' personal data will be used, and the NSA was no exception. According to the email, the NSA had a seventy-point roadmap on how personal data would be used. Unfortunately, the entire document was classified as TOP SECRET. The mass-distributed email, however, answered most questions.