Skip to content
DUFFEL BLOG

Free military brief. No CAC required.

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast
Subscribe form

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing
4,200+dispatches filed
20,000+readers briefed

New Coast Guard recruiting commercial: 'We don't do PT!'

NORFOLK, Va. — Senior Coast Guard leaders have approved a new advertising campaign designed to increase enlistment numbers, keep up retention rates and encourage other service members to lateral over to the Homeland Security’s premier maritime service, sources confirmed today.

The campaign, called the “We Don’t Have A PT Test” drive, is intended to show that, while all other military branches have strenuous and physically demanding fitness challenges, the Coast Guard just doesn’t have one, officials said.

Airing nationally starting in October 2018, the campaign will include pictures of Coast Guard men and women just sitting around a TV laughing while all other services sweat out their PT tests. Despite the Coast Guard trying at one point to initiate an actual PT test back in 2015, eventually they pulled the idea after realizing it was a motivational factor for people to join their service.

More Stories

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal
WELCOME10 — 10% off applied at checkout

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!