Russia deploys 10,000 red-cockaded woodpeckers to Ukrainian border
Is this a microaggresion?
2 min read
paid
Cat Astronaut
Page 2 of 3
NATO puts defense of Europe on hold until ACFT rolled out
We can't go into this half-assed.
1 min read
paid
Taliban sergeant major yells at new recruits for walking on his sand
Heads are going to roll.
2 min read
paid
Study: Rising sea levels may affect thousands of warrant officers lounging on beach during middle of workday
One planet, one chance.
2 min read
paid
Child stays up late on Veterans Day eve to catch glimpse of veteran climbing down chimney
He does exist!
2 min read
paid
Taliban seizes $5 billion in abandoned American PowerPoint slides
No slide left behind.
1 min read
paid
46 nebulous concepts to declare war on now that terrorism is defeated
So many great options.
1 min read
paid
Has to be fate: Lieutenant finds soulmate at bar closest to main gate
True love finds a way.
1 min read
paid
US reassures Afghans that military-industrial complex will come out of this stronger than ever
And isn't that what matters most?
1 min read
paid
Taliban can’t believe they actually have to govern this shithole now
IED making was so much easier.
1 min read
paid
US intel finds link between Taliban retaking Afghanistan, airmen putting hands in pockets
Once we start slipping there is no coming back.
2 min read
paid
Afghan war planners caught plagiarizing ending from war in Vietnam
It all sounded so familiar.
2 min read
paid
Lieutenant at sleepover dared to turn off lights and chant 'Sergeant Major' in mirror three times
Some nightmares are real.
1 min read
paid
Taliban calls emergency meeting after US, its largest donor, pulls funding
You can sponsor the Taliban for only $5 per day.
1 min read
paid
US quietly drops 'enduring' and 'freedom' portions of Operation Enduring freedom
Where'd we put that Mission Accomplished sign again?
1 min read
paid
Fiery, all-seeing eye atop NSA headquarters vows to protect Americans’ privacy
The Shadow of the East speaks
1 min read
paid
Commander relieved for tolerating normal human fallibility and error
Of course we lost trust and confidence in this guy.
2 min read
paid
Pentagon says vaccinated troops no longer have to wear masks while throwing up in an Uber
Finally a return to normalcy.
1 min read
paid
Russian armored division destroyed by soldier’s 20th leg tuck
Leg tucks increase lethality. It's science.
2 min read
paid
Space Force bans moon landings after discovering rare species of lunar tortoise
This is a huge setback
2 min read
paid
DoD adopts new 'winning isn't everything' motto
We did our best, Pentagon leaders said.
1 min read
paid
Taliban wonders who will inadvertently fund operations after US leaves
Oof.
2 min read
paid
Army says generals can substitute two-minute plank in lieu of victory in Afghanistan
None have done it so far.
2 min read
paid
New Marine Corps budget calls for more beefy boys with machine guns
“We’re in an era of great power-lifter competition."
2 min read
paid
Value of jalapeño cheese spread artificially inflated by extended training exercise
“I’m practically a millionaire!” said Cpl. Brian Stokes.
1 min read
paid
