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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 120 · Wednesday, 7 October 2026

Pentagon

DTS works properly after hack by rogue AI

Pentagon scrambling to restore slow load times, incomprehensible errors and traditional user experience

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit

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Vol. 15 · No. 120

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Vol. 15 · No. 120 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

7 October 2026

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Navy & Marines · Page 5

New Navy 'battle stations' simulates PowerPoint, trash sorting

Filed · 1539

NAVAL STATION GREAT LAKES, Ill. — Battle Stations, the grueling 12-hour simulation that all enlisted members of the United States Navy must complete before graduating recruit training, is undergoing a major overhaul, according to sources.

Gone are the simulated missile attacks, mass casualties, and shipboard fires, the hallmark of Cold War training, sources say. Instead recruits will now face challenges more suitable to the 21st Century threat environment: sexual harassment training; drug and alcohol response; and leadership more worried about covering asses than using common sense.

According to Lt. Matt Comer, spokesman for Naval Service Training Command at Great Lakes, crises recruits will face include many things. "For instance, a man overboard drill when someone tosses away a chemlight. Simultaneously, sailors will be tasked with sorting over 500 pounds of trash into metal, plastic, and paper."

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