The following is an op-ed written by that guy in 3rd Squad.

Yooooooooooo! My fuckin’ dude! What is UP, bro? I haven’t seen you in a minute. I know; I know; I know. Yo. I know. I am with you, dude. I’m so over this shit. Dog, I am so for-real. I am about to fucking run my ass down the road Bergdahl-style, bro. I am telling you, these NCOs are on some other shit out here.

Check out high-speed right here. One, two, one, two; ole boy strutting around like he’s fucking T-2000. Nrrt. Robo-sergeant reporting for duty, sir. Sir, yes, sir. PT belt activated. Douchebag status confirmed. Charlie-mike! This clown counseled me the other day, too. Hell yeah. For fucking skyping my girl in the guard tower. Dog, he’s lucky he didn’t walk up there at the wrong time, too. Shit, you know me and my girl get to talking, shit starts going down, you know how it is. I put a sign up on the tower door: “If the tower’s a-rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’.” Haha, no, he didn’t like that one bit.

Fuckin’ dickface.