Navy intel officer gives wrong secure phone number to creepy crypto guy
Quick thinking Rebecca!
By Slab Squatthrust
When Navy Lt. Rebecca Samp was approached for her secure phone number by the ghoulish and overly assertive crypto tech from down the hall, she provided an incorrect number to ensure he’d just maybe take a hint, sources confirmed today.
The 24-year-old was on her way to the command brief early Monday morning when the incident occurred. But with quick thinking on her side and a little experience with socially awkward creepazoids, Samp made sure to provide the wrong secure terminal equipment (STE) number.
“He leaned in toward me like a tree with too many sloths,” Samp later told investigators. “I knew I had to peel him off before he started talking about how many Admirals he’s hung out with so I just shouted a bunch of numbers in random order.”
After the interaction, Cryptologic Technician 3rd Class Steve Bamford memorized the number and immediately informed his fellow spooks.
“Like, can a girl walk down the hallway without being harassed by every vaguely wet CT in the bui…