Finland granted VIP access to Club NATO
A vast drink list and collective defense at reasonable prices.
By Dirk Diggler
HELSINKI — Finland, the Nordic nation sharing an 800-mile border with Russia, has been granted exclusive VIP access to Club NATO, Duffel Blog has learned.
In December, the likelihood of Finnish entry into Club NATO was tepid at best, with most nations more likely to support clubbing at Butchers nightclub in Helsinki instead. But Finnish support for Club NATO skyrocketed in February following Russia’s failed guerrilla marketing campaign for its T-90 Main Battle Tank in Ukraine.
Bouncers reportedly fast-tracked Finland into the exclusive club this past Friday night.
Pictures and video posted to the Finnish gossip site Seiska suggest Finland may have been allowed to cut in line after the Scandinavian bombshell was spotted sporting a black blazer with a plunging neckline.
Finnish Prime Minister Sanna Marin could not immediately be reached for comment as she left her government phone behind while dancing at Butchers until four in the morning yet again.
Membership at Club NATO is highly exclusive, available only to the wealthiest Western nations with access to all the most expensive rides, including the F-35 fighter jet, which Finland recently purchased. Many nations have had to wait in line for years to just set foot inside the exclusive venue, which features a vast drink list and collective defense at reasonable prices.