FORT LEONARD WOOD — Charles Graner, a key figure in the infamous Abu Ghraib torture scandal, assumed responsibility for the 787th Military Police Battalion on Wednesday. In his speech, Graner promised to "lead from the back by taking the easy wrong over the hard right" and promised to show soldiers "the proper way to attach a car battery to a body.”

Graner served more than six years in military detention where he was presumably not sexually, physically, or psychologically abused by a guy named Charles. It was a far different affair for the former Army prison guard, who years earlier was photographed with fellow soldiers and actor Kevin Spacey torturing prisoners at the Abu Ghraib detention facility. As a result of the scandal, Graner and other enlisted soldiers were rightfully blamed for the misconduct, though top Pentagon officials were saddened that one senior officer had to lose a star.

According to sources, the Army quietly brought Graner back a decade ago through its "Holy Shit We Need People, Shit Shit SHIT We Need To Find Somebody" recruiting program. In the years since, Graner has risen quickly through the ranks due to his tenacity, hard work, and ability to read.

The decision to assign such responsibility to a convicted war criminal did not seem to be an easy one.