Former Soviet leader dies from rare case of old age
No tragic window accident?
MOSCOW—In a break from Russian tradition, Mikhail Gorbachev, the Soviet Premier whose policies helped hasten the end of the USSR, died earlier this week at the age of … 91 years old? HOLY SHIT.
For decades since the passing of Josef Stalin, who died at 75 after suffering a stroke, the deaths of Soviet leaders have often been of questionable causes, and sometimes perceived to have been orchestrated by rival factions within the Communist Party. Before Gorbachev, not one Soviet leader had ever lived past the age of 77.
Russia analysts, some of whom started their careers watching the Soviet Union, expressed shock.
“Honestly, I can’t believe it,” said Patrick Holmes, of the CIA’s Intelligence Directorate. “Even though he’s been living a quiet life for decades, we still expected him to have an ‘accident’ on the way to a market or something.”
Ordinary Russians were also taken aback, and many older citizens were less than pleased.
“It’s not natural,” said Mila Sidorov, 88, a resident of Moscow. “Passing away quietly after a long life. A Soviet leader should die suddenly, under mysterious circumstances. Or at least from a failed liver.”
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