Pentagon leaders really struggling with performance review bullets this year

By W.E. Linde

THE PENTAGON — According to multiple sources, most general and flag officers at the Pentagon are having a really, really hard time coming up with strong bullets for accomplishments on their performance review for the past year.

“It’s so painful,” said Timothy Dobbs, a civilian administrative assistant who helps compile the officer evaluation reports. “Like everyone else, the admirals and generals waited until the last minute to work on their annual performance reviews. When they finally started, they realized there wasn’t a lot for them to take credit for over the past 12 months.”

“It’s really tough,” admitted Army Chief of Staff Gen. James C. McConville. “The most high-profile thing to happen this year was the withdrawal from Afghanistan, and who wants that on their list of accomplishments? There may be a way to polish that turd, but it’s rough going right now.”