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This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Situation Report
The program is getting eggcellent results.
SAN DIEGO — Petty Officer 2nd class Cristina Lopez-Padilla is innovating her approach to recruiting with one shocking item: a dozen fresh eggs. Recruiters have been known in the past to entice, or outright lie, to prospective recruits with the promise of $10,000, a brand-new Dodge Charger, or skills that can actually translate to work outside of the military.
Following news of rising inflation levels, the U.S. hitting the debt ceiling, and bird flu creating poultry shortages, Petty Officer Lopez-Padilla saw a golden goose opportunity and implemented a program called “Yolks for young folks.” Offering potential Sailors eggs as a “sign-on” bonus has allowed her to beat recruiting numbers from her peers in local Marine, Army, and Air Force recruiting offices.
“At first, they thought I was forging my numbers,” said Lopez-Padilla. “I had NCIS and IG coming in here clucking a lot after starting Yolks for Young Folks, but I was able to soothe their ruffled feathers once I explained the program's impetus.”
Lopez-Padilla began recruiting in San Diego in November 2022, just before Thanksgiving. She noticed quickly that food prices were skyrocketing, and eggs in particular had increased in price by about 60% since the same time the previous year. At first, this just seemed to be an unfortunate fact of life, but then she came across a news article about famines and shortages in the USSR.
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