MOSCOW — Russian country super-star Toby Keithovitch has a smash hit on his hands, riding a wave of patriotism following the Russian full-scale invasion of Ukraine.

“This is an important song to me, and when President Vladimir Putin’s Public Affairs Office called me and told me to write it or they’d poison my family, I knew I had to do it,” Keithovitch said.

Country music fans from the eastern border in Siberia to the western border in (unclear at time of publication) have been raving about the new power ballad from Keithovitch called “Courtesy of the White, Blue, and Red”.

“I love the song. It is the favorite of my songs. Please may I see my children? Even just talk to them on the phone to confirm they are alive?” said Moscow resident Natalya Rostov before the microphone was unceremoniously jerked away from her.