ATLANTA, GA — Prior-military paintball team "28th Paintfantry" has yet to win a single match against area teenagers according to sources at the paintball arena. The team has cited
FORT HOOD, Texas — Just a few short days after completing the Adjutant General Officer Basic Course, Army 1st Lt. George McAllister is already earning accolades as the personnel officer for
THE PENTAGON — The Pentagon released a report today requesting Congressional authorization for 500 gold-plated F-35 fighter planes. The F-35 Lightning II is a fifth-generation multirole stealth fighter intended to replace
WASHINGTON — The parent company of the publication Army Times has been threatened by an elite hacker team, demanding they shut down the military newspaper or the team will release the
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — An Army Inspector General report warns that the Army's junior enlisted are at budgetary risk following the discovery of a massive surplus of fucks
THE PENTAGON — Newly confirmed U.S. Army Chief of Staff General Mark Milley outlined his vision for the Army's way forward in a press conference today, his first
FORT CAMPBELL, Ky. — Based on her deeply held beliefs of the “sanctity of military service,” admin clerk Spc. Kim David has been refusing to issue DD214s to service members whose
WASHINGTON — Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), who spent much of the Vietnam War imprisoned in the infamous "Hanoi Hilton," recently told supporters he always felt he "was in
FORT BENNING, Ga. — The Army is planning major changes to its Expert Infantryman's Badge (EIB) testing standards, according to a leaked document obtained by Duffel Blog. The existence
NEW YORK — World leaders met at the United Nations today to beg the United States to use military force to stem the ever-growing humanitarian disaster in Syria, knowing full well
THE PENTAGON — The US Department of State is in absolute chaos following Al Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahiri's declaration of war on ISIS, according to sources. The Pentagon remains
DAYR AL-ZAWR, Syria — Syrian teenager Sami Halaseh was beheaded for witchcraft yesterday after he built a clock and and brought it into his bomb-making school, according to The Syrian Observatory
BASTROP, Texas — Following this week’s conspicuously quiet conclusion to the endlessly controversial “Jade Helm 15," many Americans in the Patriot Movement are now finding themselves asking an obvious
MAXWELL AFB, Ala.— Crime rates both in and around Air Force bases are dropping at a shocking rate, according to new police statistics released this week. Most are crediting the
DETROIT — The National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) is reportedly launching a formal investigation after passengers alleged a pilot and copilot of a Delta Air Lines flight gave up their seats
FORT MEADE, Md. — Access to networked multifunction printer/scanner/copiers is a “privilege not a right,” according to Pfc. Michael Lund, who works closely with an information technology contractor responsible
FORT HOOD — Master Sgt. Willy Peters is a Wounded Warrior who received the Purple Heart for being wounded in action in Afghanistan, and underwent a colostomy as a result of
CAMP SMEDLEY D. BUTLER, Okinawa — Lance Corporal Timothy Braithwaite and his wife, Melanie, were dismayed last weekend to discover that they had confused the word “kabuki” and the word “bukakke,
NEW YORK — The editorial board of The New York Times and other media outlets has caught on to the back-story behind the plethora of "Man Love Thursday" jokes
ATLANTIC OCEAN — Boatswain’s Mate Chief Robert Dallas put in a full day of work onboard USS Arlington (LPD-24) by nodding at a pair of junior sailors, sources report. Sources
FORT HOOD, Texas — A Battalion Intelligence Officer was relieved late last week after he was found misusing a classified stapler in his office, according to Army officials. “It was pretty
NORFOLK, Va. — Culinary Spc. Seaman Reggie Watkins has absolutely nailed how to burn a pancake, much to the delight of the crew of USS Anzio (CG-68). Watkins mastered the art
DECATUR, Ill. — Local mom Terri Owens was all smiles today as she walked around her employer's office sharing the news that, judging by a photo recently posted on
FORT CAMPBELL, Ky. — Local Rifleman and sexual Tyrannosaurus Pvt. Devon Smith, 20, has just received a brand new ‘Infantry’ t-shirt, and is prepared to “throw this thing on and go
FORT CAMPBELL, Ky. — Despite recently retiring and landing a job as a defense lobbyist and analyst at Fox News, retired Gen. Martin Dempsey is not taking "no" for
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