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Sailor jumps overboard to avoid being punished for hiding on ship for a week

NORFOLK, Va. — The U.S. Navy's 7th Fleet announced that the sailor thought to be lost at sea and found a week later hiding in the engine room of the USS Shiloh has now jumped overboard to avoid punishment for the previous incident.

Petty Officer 3rd Class Peter Mims ran for the edge of the cruiser soon after being transferred to the USS Ronald Reagan for medical care, sources confirmed. The sources further speculated the medical care was “probably because Mims was so sick at not getting caught.”

Soon after Mims went overboard, the Navy began what could be another 3-day-long search and rescue mission involving various ships, Coast Guard cutters, helicopters, submarines, rubber dinghies, and four F-35B fighters, which were brought in by Lockheed to highlight the multirole aircraft’s capabilities beyond its horrible record in air-to-air combat, close air support, and flying.

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