MOSCOW — The annual football game between Russia’s Army and Navy teams ended in the third quarter after a successful high mobility artillery rocket system (HIMARS) strike. The strategic attack occurred simultaneously with the firing of the white, red, and blue fireworks celebration after the Russian Army team scored with a triple option run from the 10-yard line.
“We cannot confirm nor deny the attack from the Field Artillery M142 HIMARS at this … wait, I mean the rocket attack,” said Lt. Col. Scott Moncrief, a spokesman for U.S. Army Europe. “There is a lot of kinetic activity going on in that region of the world, and I can sort of almost guarantee there was no U.S. military involvement,” he added hesitantly.
“To be honest, we’ve been giving so much aid to other nation’s military that I don’t know where half of our stuff is,” he said. “On top of all that, I just got informed of a financial liability investigation for six missing rockets, so you’ll have to forgive me if I seem a little frazzled,” Moncrief concluded.
Details of the strike were not immediately available, but the Kremlin released a statement condemning the attack.
