This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
US forces did stuff in Afghanistan or something
WASHINGTON — US forces reportedly did stuff in Afghanistan or something in an attack on whomever in some place in whatever province, sources confirmed today.
Gen. He's Lying To You praised the operation, telling reporters that this was the most effective use of munition that hasn't been effective since the Gulf War.
"We were absolutely surgical with this strike, you can guarantee that," he said of the bombing, which killed two members of a militant group with a scary-sounding name as well as 47 civilians.
Central Command Spokesman Who Gives A Crap confirmed things definitely happened and you probably don't care.
More Stories
Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something
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Army adopts ‘Your body, my choice’ as new recruiting slogan
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First-generation American pilot excited to give family free ride on deportation flight
Medal of Dishonor
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Hegseth tired of looking at all these limp dicks in Pentagon locker room
Whiskey Fueled Tirade
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25 years after 9/11, America still processing events normally
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Opinion: How I learned to stop worrying and love my low testosterone
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