The Navy recently rolled out a policy giving all new active-duty mothers 90 days paid leave after they have a baby. The decision was made in the interest of equality, because they say it’s a lot easier for a male sailor to come back to work after he becomes a dad than it is for a female sailor to return to the ship after she delivers a kid.

Along those lines though, I really wish the Navy would start respecting the plight of us active-duty fathers, because I’ve spawned no less than three kids by three boat mamas on USS Carl Vinson, and all I’ve gotten is dick-all when it comes to paid paternity leave.

Rather, all I get is paternity tests, and the added burden of all these chicks asking for child support and blowing-up my phone wanting me to take them to medical for their pre-baby-birthing appointments.

Just where in the hell is the equality in that?