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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Saturday, 14 November 2026

Navy & Marines

Marine with extremely low IQ thrilled by switch to Super Intelligence

Marine Corps announces major technological advancement requiring millions of dollars in new signage and PowerPoint slides

Homeless veterans receive 10% off cardboard boxes this Veterans Day

Hegseth asks staff to make next execution more like ‘The Running Man’

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Vol. 15 · No. 136

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

14 November 2026

1153 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
· Page 2

Soldier really phoning it in now that he’s only 12 years from retirement

Filed · 1537

FORT HOOD, Texas — Sgt. 1st Class Walter Weldon has been “really doing, like, the absolute bare minimum, now that he’s hit the 12-years-until-retirement mark,” according to other soldiers in the 79th EOD Battalion.

“It’s kind of maddening,” said his boss, Master Sgt. Landon Hart. “I mean, I’ve only got three years left myself, but I still find the gumption to motivate myself and come in every morning at the crack of nine.”

According to Hart, Weldon’s recent run of laziness includes never showing up for the Friday beer lunch, only shaving once a week instead of the required three times, and “failing to forward a particularly poignant Faye Reagan solo video, as battalion SOP normally requires.”

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