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This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.

Story Roundup

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

Situation Report

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

Congress sets voting, gun ownership, drinking and enlistment age at sixteen

Congress sets voting, gun ownership, drinking and enlistment age at sixteen
Photo by Elijah Mears / Unsplash

WASHINGTON — Politicians celebrated after Congress voted today to lower the age a person can join the military, own a weapon, and drink thirty cans of Keystone Light before staggering to a voting booth.

The new cutoff is sixteen, allowing wasted high-school sophomores to participate in and die for American democracy.

“Just imagine the thrill of a sixteen year-old teenage person who is now an adult participating in our wonderful Democratic Party — err, our democratic voting process,” said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.).

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