Air Force attaches parking boots to pilots to stop them from leaving service

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing

4,200+dispatches filed

20,000+readers briefed

LANGLEY AFB, Va. — When Air Force F-15 pilot Maj. Matt Rosol walked away from his aircraft after his last active duty flight, his leg dragged. Fearing a medical problem, Rosol immediately asked for help.

“Can’t,” said crew chief Staff Sgt. Chris Hosler. “You’ve been clamped.”

Rosol looked down to find a parking boot — a device originally built to disable ticketed cars from being driven away — clamped to his leg. As he limped around in circles, his plan for a career as a civilian airline transport pilot seemed grounded. But he is merely part of a larger Air Force readiness problem.

Pilot retention has nosedived in recent years. Reasons for that include a high deployment rate, the state of the crazy, mixed-up, formerly-beloved Air Force Academy, and the fact that every single flying squadron commander was fired in 2017 for poking subordinates while taking Fat Leonard-sized bribes.

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

More Stories

Pentagon facing dangerous shortage of fucks given

Opinion: Listen up, assholes. Turn in your excess cruise missiles or everybody stays in formation

Army Reserve adopts 'Nothing we do today is more important than lunch' as new recruiting slogan

Hegseth mistakes getting older for declining military standards

Duffel Blog’s Top 13 ideas for solving the Iran War

Americans begin thanking troops for future service

Opinion

Start Here