PENTAGON — The U.S. Army has fallen short of its fiscal year 2024 robot recruiting goal by a staggering 27%, Pentagon sources report.

“There is a lot of hand-wringing over the army’s failure to meet its manpower and recruiting goals,” said Col. Francis Park, an army strategist who authored an 837-page classified report on robot accessions. “Future warfare will be more technological and automated. We don’t need more soldiers, we need more robots. We're falling short on recruiting soldiers, but also, we are falling short on recruiting robots."

The report says that future combat support military occupational specialties will be reduced by the labor-saving measures of artificial intelligence, which the Army also does not have.