The following is an op-ed by that guy in second platoon that is a habitual over-sharer.

Hey man! LT said Jones is out sick so it looks like I'll be a dismount for your truck crew today. You know what that means, hours of just riding in the back seat of a Humvee with nothing to do.

Don't you hate how you always get a boner from riding in a Humvee? What? That doesn't happen to you? It's not that I like Humvees that much, it's just something about the vibration on my taint. I mean, I guess my mind wanders while I'm bouncing along, my flaccid penis slowly becoming more stiff as it rubs against my thigh.